So, in this final piece in our Choosing Courtship series, we are going to look at practical ways we can encourage and teach courtship in our families.
1. Early Learning. What is courtship? It is the preparation for marriage. Early on teach your children what courtship is and what is expected of them concerning courtship. It’s important that you’re teaching them the specifics of how courtship works and why you have chosen to follow this path for your family. Its a good idea to keep the information age friendly, sharing only what they need to understand at a young age and adding on as they get older.
2. Strong Faith. Always encourage their growth in faith. Read the bible, pray and study with them. Give them books that encourage their faith and help grow them up in the Lord. Also, be sure of the faith of the intended. Pray for this diligently for both your child and the one God has chosen for them.
3. Purity and Modesty. Discuss what these mean in your family. Read books that help encourage their heart in what you are teaching them. Live this out as well.
4. Communication. Keep the lines of communication open and honest, ready to answer their questions to the best of your ability. This means speaking as well as being a good listener. You want this to be a definite in your relationship with your children so they will always come to you especially concerning a future spouse.
5. Prayer. Pray over your children in all aspects, of course, but pray for marriage and spouses specifically as well. And when they have come to you with a consideration, be sure to continue those prayers. Also, pray with them.
6. Reinforcement. This is important that you are reinforcing what you are teaching them. Its not a one time lesson but a life lesson to be taught consistently.
7. A List. Have your child make out a list of what they are looking for in a mate. Usually this can be done at a later age when they have some idea of what they are praying for. Discuss with them what they have written.
8. Trust God. You’ve taught your child about courtship. They have embraced it and are following through as taught. Now, you have to step back a little and trust God with it all. It’s not your place to arrange or determine who is right for your child. That is God’s design. Your role is to encourage, be watchful and ready to address any concerns they may have, be in prayer for the relationship, and speak up if you see some issues spiritually and with incompatibility. (This is more of a spiritual application but an application nonetheless.)
9. For boys: Leadership. They will be the headship of their home one day so teaching leadership is important. For example, one area they will need to display leadership is when they approach the father of the young woman they are interested in and ask to court her.
10. For girls: Obedience to their father. Daughters should be taught to remain under their father’s protection and headship until they are married. Then the husband takes on that role. Also, obedience to what their mother is teaching in preparation to being a godly woman, wife and mother.
This concludes our series on choosing courtship. I encourage prayer and the seeking of God’s Word so you know what this looks like for your family. Know this, some people will balk and look down at the courtship process yet we have seen it work and seen biblical growth from it as well. You can find the complete series HERE.
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