Monday’s Musings #156 & Holding Hands

The Joy of Holding Hands | What Joy Is Mine

My Love often reaches for my hand to hold it. At church as we worship together. While walking. In the car. At home. I know he loves to hold my hand and I love for him to do so. Holding hands with my Love is a reassuring gesture to me, of our love for one another. Recently, I was sitting at a local coffee shop and I spotted an older couple drinking coffee and holding hands across the table. I thought to myself as I smiled…they look to be in love growing old together.

I also love the message conveyed to our children by our hand holding. Our children see our love for one another. They are comforted knowing we want to be in our marriage.

Holding hands, in addition to communicating love, offers reassurance to the husband and wife that they love and desire one another in a marriage. It symbolizes a union agreed upon by the man and woman involved.

Some couples will refrain from holding hands in public because they feel it is inappropriate. I disagree when it comes to holding hands. After all, we’re married to this person we hold hands with and we are witnessing to others that marriage promise we made in the presence God. There’s no shame in holding the hand of the one you love in the presence of others.

Holding hands with your spouse both privately and in public is acceptable. Make the effort to reach for the hand of your spouse and let them know you appreciate being with them and married to them.

MondaysMusings2014

Monday’s Musings Purpose: I would LOVE! to have you share encouragement about being a child of God, being a wife, mothering, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes, etc. Truly anything that would encourage another is acceptable. (I reserve the right to remove anything I deem unacceptable. Keep in mind this is a Christian blog.) Please link directly to the post you’re sharing. Be sure to link back here by using a text link or the logo below. This link up party stays open until Wednesday evening and I invite you to share the love by visiting another blog and encouraging them. Oh, and sometimes I share your posts on Pinterest, Twitter and/or Facebook because I desire for others to be blessed as I was. Thank you for stopping by and linking up. Now, let’s get to sharing. Link following this post. Grab my link button in the side bar and place on your blog so others know about our community and can join in.

SiggyJuly

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5 Prayers A Wife Should Pray

5 Prayers A Wife Should Pray | What Joy Is Mine

God gave us a way to access Him directly. It is through prayer. And praying over our husbands is a wonderful way to love on him. However, do you pray for yourself in regards to how you are towards your husband? These 5 prayers I’m sharing today I believe will help build a strong foundation for your marriage relationship. It can encourage a successful marriage because we are seeking the Lord’s help to be the wives He has called us to be. Let’s look at these five prayers a wife should pray.

1. Pray to love him selflessly. A selfless love requires letting go of self and seeking to love our husband according to his needs and for his good. It is a wholehearted giving love. Just as Jesus simply loves us for us, we are to simply love our husbands—for who they are, who they desire to be, through all circumstances and for his good. This does take intentional effort on the part of us wives since we, as sinners, are always drawn to self. So, it is important to be praying over this in our marriage. We are reminded in 1 Corinthians 13 that love “does not insist on its on way.”

2. Pray to desire your husband physically. Intimacy is a special part of a marriage. Tricia Goyer says “[lovemaking] can be an oasis for your marriage.” (Brackets mine) We need it and should desire it. And this aspect of marriage ought to be covered in prayer as all other aspects of marriage. Wives, we need to know and love our husbands intimately. This is the one part of a union that is designed only for the two of you. Pray that you would be physically drawn to your husband and desire him intimately. And let the marriage bed be undefiled.” (Hebrews 13:4)

3. Pray to honor your husband with your words. When we speak highly about our husbands, we make them look good. That ought to be our goal when we speak about our husbands. It should not be our desire to tear him down but to build him up in private and in front of others. How honored your husband will feel when he hears his wife talking so positively about him and to him. Pray that God will encourage your words to honor your husband all the time. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

4. Pray to respect your husband wholeheartedly. Scripture says “and let the wife see that she respects her husband.(Ephesians 5:33) It is an instruction from God, not a request or an “if you feel like it” direction. We are to respect our husband deeply. We are to respect him because of his role and because he’s our husband. How does your husband feel respected by you? How do you show that respect on a daily basis? What do you need to change in yourself that hinders you from respecting your husband? Ask God to show you these things as well as ways you can work towards respecting your husband wholeheartedly and willingly.

5. Pray to cherish your husband daily. Friend, if you are married, you are blessed. So, we need to cherish our husband and hold fast to him. Cherishing him means treasuring him, holding him dear in our heart and thinking of him often in our day as well as showing him through our actions and words. Pray that God will encourage you to cherish your husband daily the way Ruth cherished Naomi, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.” (Ruth 1:16,17) Think of ways you can go out of your way to show how much you deeply appreciate him.

I know there are many prayers we can pray for ourselves concerning how we are towards our husbands but I believe these 5 prayers are ones that lay a good foundation for wives to live out Proverbs 31:10-12:An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”  Join me in praying these prayers so that we bless our husbands and our marriage.

What prayers would you suggest to encourage us wives in regards to how we love on our husbands?

 

SiggyJuly

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5 Sure Ways to Cleanse Your Marriage

5 Sure Ways to Cleanse Your Marriage | What Joy Is Mine

Cleanse defined is “to rid (a person, place, or thing) of something seen as unpleasant, unwanted, or defiling.” Marriages need a little “cleansing” from time to time. They can get cluttered with ugly feelings or not-so-forgotten memories of being hurt. If not cleansed periodically, those little pesky things left undone just linger waiting to emerge at anytime to cause havoc. So, how do we cleanse our marriage? Here are five sure ways we can get our marriages back on track:

1. We forgive. Are there things in our marriage that need to be forgiven? Are we harboring hurt feelings that can only lead to bitterness when not dealt with? Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

2. We apologize. Have we hurt the one we love and not taken responsibility for our words or action? We have a rule in our house: If we say or do something which we thought was in good fun but the receiver got hurt, we need to apologize for that even if our intentions were meant for good. How the one on the end received our words or actions matters more than how we intended it to be. Sometimes pride gets in the way of apologizing so we need to squash that pride and say “I’m sorry.”  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

3. We talk. Are there conversations that need to be had? About money, work, relatives, children, health, etc.? Being open with our spouse is very important. There should not be hidden concerns. This creates a wall of distrust. Open, honest and sincere is best! Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15)

4. We romance. Have we forgotten to spoil our love? Sometimes we get so comfortable in our marriage we forget to demonstrate how much we love our spouse. We begin to take them for granted. Don’t do it. Romance them with love notes, flowers, favorite meals, massages, kind words, holding hands, etc. Let us not love in word or talk [only] but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18, brackets mine)

5. We sacrifice. Are we putting our spouse before ourself? Sacrificing takes more intentional effort. Its easy to get caught up in what we want or desire without any regard to what our spouse might want or desire. Take time to ask them. Make what they love one of the ways you love and appreciate them. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4) 

If we have let things slide or “sweep them under the rug”, we are setting up our marriages to have issues left unresolved which never produces restoration. Fix that. Be intentional by forgiving a hurt even if forgiveness is not sought after. Show your spouse they are forgiven. Be intentional to ask forgiveness if you have hurt them. Be sincere. Be intentional to romance them and put them before yourself. Don’t let these things fall to the wayside. Most importantly, talk with one another. Share your heart and build the trust in your marriage.

Does your marriage need some cleansing? How will you go about it today?

 

SiggyJuly

 

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(A revamped post.)

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

What's Love Got To Do With It? | What Joy Is Mine

Have you ever heard that song “Love and Marriage” sung by Frank Sinatra? The second verse goes, “Love and marriage, love and marriage, goes together like a horse and carriage. Dad was told by mother, ‘you can’t have one without the other.’ “ Okay…the song is right in both instances. A carriage needs a horse to operate correctly and a marriage needs love to work effectively.

In the words of Tina Turner, “what’s love got to do with it?” A lot! L.O.V.E. has much to do with a good marriage. One definition of love is “to regard with affection.” When we regard our spouses with affection, we are demonstrating a tenderness and fondness towards them. It is filled with warmth and devotion. Ephesians 4:32 commands us to love one another with kindness, a tender heart and forgiveness. That is affectionate love. Jesus loves us that way and so we should follow His lead and love our spouses the same way. “Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” (John 13:34)

Another definition of love is “to have benevolence and good will for.” This kind of love demonstrates that we desire what is good to our spouses. We will do what we can to bring about joy in their lives. We will yearn to do acts of kindness towards them and to show them good will always. This is a charitable love. It delights in bringing joy to another intentionally. It’s a selfless act towards the one we love. Hebrews 13:16 tells us to do good towards another with the reminder that this is pleasing to God.  It says Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” Notice, too, how this charitable love is referred to as a sacrifice.

In addition, love cannot stand on equal ground with hate. They are opposite of one another to the farthest extremes. In a marital relationship we love someone deeply and shouldn’t want to hurt them in anyway. Loving our spouses should show that we want to keep from hurting them which means we watch our words and actions carefully. If we mess up then we fix it by talking with our spouse and apologizing. Swallowing our pride and admitting we’re wrong is never easy but it is necessary to a strong marital relationship not to mention personal peace. This kind of love is humble and meek. Titus 3:2 says, To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. Jesus demonstrated a meek and humble love for us in coming down to live among us. He put us before Himself on the cross. “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.(Mark 10:45)

One more thought on love and marriage is the foundation for the affectionate, charitable and humble love we ought to demonstrate in our union. This foundation should be built upon our love for the Lord we have as one.  This united love for the Lord shapes the way we love our spouses all the time. In making Him first in our marriage, we are creating a strong and stable footing for our union. This strong footing won’t fail us in times of struggle so we need to make sure it is in place. Remember “[Our] adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) We must be watchful by being in the Word daily, praying and seeking wisdom for our marriages making that foundation firm and stable.

In summary, let’s listen to what Peter says, Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.” (1 Peter 3:8,9)

How do you express love to your spouse?

SiggyJuly

 

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(A revamped post.)

9 Ways to Protect Your Marriage Promise

9 Ways to Protect Your Marriage Promise | What Joy Is Mine | Managing Your Blessings | 31 Days to a Better Marriage Series

There are so many temptations in this world of ours that could tear apart a marriage promise. We have to be careful and mindful of those temptations which could be anything from books we read to friendships we form. Hebrews 13:4 says “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”  That’s God speaking. He holds the marriage promise in high regard. Once made, we should be working to protect our marriage promise and keep it honorable and undefiled.

Today over at Managing Your Blessings, I am sharing 9 ways to protect your marriage promise for the 31 Days to a Better Marriage Series. Hop on over and read the rest of my post and be encouraged by ways we can protect our marriage vows.

Read the rest HERE

And be sure to go by daily and find more encouragement from the other authors contributing.

SiggyJuly

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Stop by on Mondays to link up at Monday’s Musings.
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**If any of my photos anywhere on my blog catch your eye, please email me for permission to use them in any way. I appreciate your cooperation in helping my photography stay protected and properly credited. Thank you.