Being Intentionally Selfless In Marriage

Being Intentionally Selfless In Marriage | What Joy Is Mine

She didn’t know it at the time that she would be a widow at the age of forty with two young boys. Her husband didn’t know it at the time that he would one day be diagnosed with a rare cancer that would send their marriage on a whirlwind of treatments and difficult days. What she did know at the time was that she had asked her husband for dancing lessons for Christmas. He cringed at the thought.

See, he did not like to dance yet she did. He knew if he got that gift for her, he would have to go and he did not want to. As Christmas moved closer, he kept asking her if she was sure she wanted those dance lessons, of course, hoping her heart had changed but it had not. She would smile and say, “Yes, I want them.” He cringed every time.

Christmas arrived and there under the tree was a gift for her. She opened it and inside was a certificate for six dance lessons….for the two of them!! She was ecstatic. He was intentionally selfless in his gift. He thought of her even if he would end up doing something he did not like to do. It mattered to him more to please her and demonstrate his love for her. The funny part of this story is he ended up buying two more sets of lessons!!

I recently heard this story at the funeral of a friend of my husband. I did not know the couple personally but her story touched my heart. Her husband’s selfless act of love towards her encouraged me. We get married and we begin our lives however we don’t know how much time we will be given with our loves. She didn’t know either. Yet she remembered her husband’s intentional selfless act of love towards her. She remembered it with joy, too.

When we’re intentional, we are deliberate. We act or speak on purpose. Being intentionally selfless means thinking of another before ourselves on purpose. This is a biblical kind of love. Philippians 2, verse 4 tells us to “look not only to [our] own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Brackets mine) We are to make the interests of our spouses important to us. We need to always be looking at ways we can put what they enjoy into action even if it is not something we enjoy so much. It’s not about us, it’s about them. It’s about appreciating them. It’s about building a strong marriage. It’s about growing…together.

Loving on our spouse takes intentional behavior on our part. We need to look at the one God gave us and think of ways we can love them selflessly on a regular basis. It may mean watching your husband’s favorite sports team for an evening (cheering included!), watching a movie with your wife that she chooses (even the romantic kind!) or taking dance lessons when you dislike dancing (and ordering two more sets of lessons to boot!). No matter how it may look in your marriage being intentionally selfless towards your spouse is a blessing to them and to you. It’s a win-win situation all the way around.

 

SiggyJuly

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(A repost.)

Have You Been Married Too Long? (Guest Post from Uplifting-Love)

Have You Been Married Too Long? | Guest Post from Uplifting-Love | What Joy Is Mine

I was with some friends recently, a couple that has been married for over 35 years, and the husband related a brief story. He and his wife were talking to a church leader, kind of like a pastor, about an assignment the leader was asking him to take on. The leader asked him how long he and his wife had been married. When he shared with Cami and me his response I was shocked! He responded to the leader by saying “too long.” What!?!? Too long?! Not only that, he said it in front of his wife. How do you think she felt? Too long!! Another friend of ours was there and his jaw hit the floor. He asked “you didn’t really say that, did you?” “I sure did” he said with a smirk on his face. Our other friend and I just stared at him in disbelief. We both knew that he was kidding around but what a boneheaded, callous, and downright rude thing to say. We just stared and stared. What should my friend have said? He is very much in love with his wife.

Just the day before he was telling me about a time that he and his wife, because of work obligations, spent nearly a year apart. He expressed how much he had missed her and that he never wanted to be away from her for any extended period ever again. Obviously he cares for his wife. Watching them interact with one another it is evident that they are in love and enjoy one another’s company. They wouldn’t have made it 35+ years if their marriage wasn’t sound. So how could he say something like that…and in front of his beloved wife? Again, what should he have said? Let me tell you. When asked how long you have been married your standard response should be “not long enough.”

You can add a flourish and make it your own by accessorizing with statements like “she is so wonderful I just don’t know how I could ever get tired of her” or “he is so thoughtful and kind I want to be with him forever.” I want to be with my wife for all of eternity. A few years, even a few decades isn’t enough. Lifetimes wouldn’t satisfy me. Each day we spend together ignites in me a greater desire to spend even more time with her. She is the addiction I can’t kick…and one I have never and will never try to overcome. World, I hereby solemnly declare that I, Tyson Cooper, am a Cami-aholic (Cami is my wife’s name). And I am proud of it. I do not need help fighting this addiction. I give into it willingly and eagerly each day. I find that as I do, the small and simple things that keep our marriage strong become easier and more fun to do. Saying kind words, holding her hand, rubbing her shoulders, brushing her hair, teasing her. The next time someone asks me “How long have you been married?” My answer is going to be “Not nearly long enough!” If you wouldn’t answer that question the same way I invite you to examine why and make the changes needed so that you to can exclaim “not nearly long enough!”

Tyson

 

Tyson Cooper 37

Tyson Cooper has been married to the most beautiful woman, Cami, for over eight years. They have four adorable sons and beg God to send them a girl. Tyson is passionate about reading, spending time in the outdoors, lounging in his hammock, spending time with his family and spending time with his wife. He believes that most of society’s ills can be remedied by strengthening marriage and the family. To this end he blogs at www.Uplifting-Love.com about marriage and family providing tips and suggestions on how to make good marriages great. Check it out!

 

SiggyJuly

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5 Sure Ways to Bless Your Husband

5 Sure Ways to Bless your Husband | What Joy Is Mine

We love our husbands and we are called to encourage and build them up. “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Our husbands are better men when we their wives treat them with respect and give them encouragement. When we take the time to build them up and love them for who they are, they can be who God has called them to be. Today, I’m sharing 5 sure ways to bless your husband.

1. Pray for him. This is a powerful one. I cannot stress the importance of lifting up your husband daily. (Free printable) Making time to pray over him really will make a huge difference in his life. My husband will ask me to pray for specific needs he has during the day because he knows I do and will pray for him. Wives, be proactive for your husband’s spiritual, emotional and physical needs. Pray for him! “The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16)

2. Listen to him. It can be disappointing when you are sharing something and the person listening isn’t really listening. One might feel unimportant. We wives need to make every effort to listen when our husbands are sharing their stories or thoughts. Make eye contact and focus on his words. In doing this, he will know you truly care about what he has to say. Plus, you will be able to give an informed answer and not just an “uh huh, sure.”

3. Encourage him. Our husbands need to be reminded they are worthy and loved. We need to point out their positives and build them up. No one can feel encouraged if someone is constantly pointing out the uglies about themselves. We are all have faults but what a difference it makes when we don’t focus on them. We need strive to focus on the best of our husbands. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:13)

4. Talk good about him. We should never talk negatively about our husbands in front of others. Honestly, why would we want to make our husbands look bad? For me, I want people to see my Love in a positive light, always. This includes in the home. We shouldn’t ever put our husbands down in front of the children. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11)

5. Hug and kiss him. Probably the easiest directive here. We love our husbands then let’s show them that love by hugging and kissing them often. These simple forms of physical affection can convey so much to our husbands. It shows them how much we love them not only for what they do but for who they are in our lives. Plus, hugging and kissing will encourage closeness and oneness in a marriage.

What other ways do you bless your husband?

SiggyJuly

 

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Monday’s Musings #102 & March Madness

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Just a sweet reminder that tomorrow starts off our March Madness here at WJIM. It will be our first giveaway of the month and I am tickled pink to be sharing some pf our favorite products with you all. Make sure you come by and see what we are giving away. Now onto our link up.

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THANK YOU to all who linked up last week. We had 73 encouraging and fun posts to read!! How fabulous!

I would LOVE! to have you share encouragement about being a child of God, being a wife, mothering, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes, etc. Truly anything that would encourage another is acceptable. (I reserve the right to remove anything I deem unacceptable. Keep in mind this is a Christian blog.) Please link directly to the post you’re sharing. Be sure to link back here by using a text link or the logo below. This link up party stays open until Wednesday evening and I ask you to share the love by visiting another blog and encouraging them. Thank you for stopping by and linking up. Now, let’s get this going. Link following this post. Grab my button if you’d like.

What Joy Is Mine

 

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Marriage image courtesy of  David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net



 

 

Monday’s Musings #98

Last week we had a whopping 68 posts to choose from! I love that! You all are awesome and I enjoyed (and tweeted, of course) what I read. So keep on sharing and if you didn’t have a chance to read any, go back and do so. Okay…let’s get this going!

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THANK YOU to all who linked up last week. I would LOVE! to have you share encouragement about being a child of God, being a wife, mothering, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes, etc. Truly anything that would encourage another is acceptable. (I reserve the right to remove anything I deem unacceptable. Keep in mind this is a Christian blog.) Please link directly to the post you’re sharing. Be sure to link back here by using a text link or the logo below. This link up party stays open until Wednesday evening and I ask you to share the love by visiting another blog and encouraging them.

Thank you for stopping by and linking up. Now, let’s get this going. Link following this post.

Grab my button if you’d like.

What Joy Is Mine

 

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Get connected!! 
Stop by on Mondays to link up at Monday’s Musings.
This post might contain affiliates. Read our disclosure
 
**If any of my photos anywhere on my blog catch your eye, please email me for permission to use them in any way. I appreciate your cooperation in helping my photography stay protected and properly credited. Thank you.