Love conquers all except the doubt of the one that you love. Falling in love means emotional openness and vulnerability which puts us at the risk of heartbreak. I wouldn’t love to go into the debate of ‘who hurts more during heartbreak; man or woman?’ because the smallest feeling of hurt can be bad enough if not handled properly.
Even when you think you have found the one, things may not always go as planned. The famous poet, Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” I think this is a petty comfort for heartbreak. When it comes to facing the situation head-on, these are what I would recommend.
Don’t Try To Figure Out All The WHYs?
When relationship abruptly comes to an end, you can’t help but ask yourself “Why?” Quiet moments are filled with questions on what you might have done wrong. When I talk to people going through heartbreak, I tell them not to consider the split as their loss alone. Inasmuch as you may miss the softness of their lips, remember there are virtues that you possess that they will also miss irrespective of how much they try to deny it.
If you look at things from the other side of the bridge it will help you to build your confidence. That they don’t want you anymore doesn’t mean that you are not lovable or unworthy of love. The leaving partner will likely not want to talk about it or lie when they do so they don’t hurt your feelings or to make themselves feel good. It is best not to take the rants of a leaving partner too serious.
Keep Free Times Occupied
When I had my first heartbreak in my university days, my head was filled with questions which made paying attention in class difficult and I spent most of the night awake, thinking. Spending my free times around friends helped to fill up the gaps until the hurt dissolved with time. When I was not with friends or family, I made sure I stayed busy including joining a workout group. The secret to thinking less is to stay active especially through socializing.
Don’t Fight The Sadness
Happiness, sadness, and anger are all feelings which every normal human being should have. It is not a sign of weakness to be sad or to soak your clothes with tears. Trying to fight these feelings will only make them linger for too long.
Give yourself a moment to be sad but don’t let it linger. If you need to, take a trip down memory lane until you are ready to move forward.
Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
The same way you don’t compare your clothes, don’t compare your relationship. Maybe you have been in the relationship for a year before the sudden collapse while you know friends that have been in a relationship for a few months and it ended bliss. Resist the urge to compare yourself to them.